Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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