I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
