I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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