When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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