he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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