You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
