i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
