did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize