You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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