Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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