just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
