Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
3 2 1 whiskey
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
