no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
