Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
