so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
