My friends, they love my intelligence
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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