Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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