So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
