She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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