im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
