literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
