Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
