East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
