On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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