Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
