just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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