Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im holly from the hills drunk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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