dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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