I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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