): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
