4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize