I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
