So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
