after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
