I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
