Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
