I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
