I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
