Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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