you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
