It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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