I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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