her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
