It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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