dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize