So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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