you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
