Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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