So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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