My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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