i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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