Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
