I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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