escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
