i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
