You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
