He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Terrible idea I love it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
