Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
