You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
