Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
