my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
