You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh god it's open bar.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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