you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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