you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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