i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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