I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
