I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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