If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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