I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
