I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize