Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I deserve this hangover.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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