I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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